Santa has left you a shiny present under the tree. Is it a chocolate? Have a nibble and see.
Get this jumper, get down the boozer and get it on. When you’re stumbling around on the high street in the early hours, you won’t even need to speak because your jumper will say it all.
Ooh er missus! You can baste my turkey this Christmas!!
Looks like Santa’s been on the lash and left his mark in the snow.