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…Overheard conversations in the run up to Christmas…
“It’s the Christmas office party next week. What d’ya think I should wear?” – “I’d go for something smart and plain…keep up business appearances.”
“Mum, its Christmas jumper day at school next week.” – “well, we’ll find you something nice and tasteful to wear, dear.”
“I’ve no idea what to get crazy-cousin-Chris for Christmas this year.” – “He seemed to like those grey socks you gave him last year.”
…NAAAH!!! Only joking! You would categorically never, ever…ever hear any of the above conversations (at least not from anyone vaguely worth knowing!). And why is that? Simple, because those conversations are boring and have totally missed the point of Christmas and the now Traditional As Turkey Christmas Jumper. The whole point of our well-loved Christmas knit, its whole raison d’être, is to be FUN, and therefore also frequently FUNNY.
If your selection criteria for your Christmas jumper is that it makes you look ‘sexy’, ‘reem’, or ‘sophisticated’, then you need our help in resetting your Christmas knit-o-meter. There’s a whole 11 months of the year when dressing cool gets you cred, and then there’s Christmas-jumper-ember (aka December) when dressing funny wins points. And in our (fairly expert) opinion, when it comes to Christmas jumpers, the funnier, the better. Enter into the spirit of the Crimbo knit – let it bring you and others festive happiness by making folk laugh.
You’ll be spoilt for a gag-tastic choice on the jumper front this year … depending on what makes you smile and who you’re hanging out with from gentle, good-natured Christmas humour that’s suitable for Christmas dinner with Gran to more slap-stick comedy that’ll be sure to get a good laugh from the lads in the pub.
And if you can’t decide on your funny Christmas jumper for this festive season, why not take things a step further and just wear an inflatable turkey suit? We can’t think of anything much funnier than that!
So whether you want the year’s best meme or an inflatable turkey suit (stranger things have happened), you’ll find it here. There’s plenty to choose from too, on a wide scale of funny; from a chuckle from nan to roaring laughter from the boys at the pub – there’s humour to be had for all. Christmas jumpers are fun – so make your jumper funny this year and be more jolly than the big guy himself.
Santa and elf twin jumper
Santa and elf, which settles the hierarchy early.
Novelty Christmas jumper for adults
Want to try something naughty, rude and a bit different? This jumper boasts a big and bold Santa motif that is festive and fun. It is 100% acrylic which is soft and stretchable. This quirky knit adds a new dimension to the Merry Christmas message! It is bound to cause merriment and mayhem … for aduts only!
First let me take an #elfie
Available as a black jumper with gold leaf or white writing.
“Have a sick Christmas” jumper
View men's Christmas jumpers on the ASOS website
“Kiss my cracker” rude jumper
Crackers, repurposed. You know exactly what this is.
Christmas turkey outfit
A turkey, as an outfit. Solidarity with the main course.
Donald Trump Christmas Jumper
Topical in its day, and now a small time capsule.
“Hung” funny Christmas jumper
One word, and a raised eyebrow from somebody's grandmother.
“Bing Bong Merrily I’m High” Christmas jumper
Carol, rewritten. You will hum the original for the rest of the day.
North Swole jumper
A gym joke, wearing a Santa hat.
“Ready and Rocking, Hung up my stocking” Christmas jumper
Stocking hung, and rather pleased about it.
T-Rex dinosaur Christmas jumper
A T-rex, in a Christmas jumper, arms too short for any of it.
“Merry Christmas” jumper
Classic sweatshirt – nice and simple.
“Does somebody need a hug” elf Christmas pyjama set
An elf asking a direct question, as pyjamas.
Super Santa knickers
Knickers, Santa-themed. Worn with more confidence than most of this list.
To: Women, From: God funny Christmas jumper
Confident. Possibly misplaced.
Christmas reindeer socks
Socks, with reindeer. The quiet entry point to all this.
“Breast man” funny Christmas jumper
Blunt. Knows it.
Joyeux Narwhal Christmas jumper in various colours
A narwhal, wished a merry Christmas in French. Nobody asked why.
“It’s All Good In The Pud” Christmas jumper
Puds, and a verdict on them.
Donald Trumper funny Christmas jumper
A pun on a surname, which was always going to happen.
Kim Jong Un Korea Christmas Jumper
Merry Christmas MY people
“Make Christmas Great Again” – Donald Trump Jumper
A slogan borrowed and repointed at the season.
Funny faux-naked Christmas attire
Looks like far less than you are wearing. Entirely the point.
“Hands off my puds”
Another defence of the pudding, issued pre-emptively.
“Yule do” men’s Christmas jumper
Yule do. Faint praise, knitted.
“Reinbeers” funny mens Christmas jumper
Reinbeers. You saw it coming and bought it anyway.
Salt Bae – get your salt on
A meme, preserved in knitwear, long after the moment passed.
The Ting goes pap-pap-pap Christmas jumper
A lyric, knitted. If you know, you know, and if you do not, you will be told.
Gin-tastic Jumpers
Get in the Christmas spirit with these Gin themed novelty jumpers! Shop Not on the High Street for the perfect gift for any gin lover.
Trump jumper
Make Christmas great again with Amazon
Let’s Make Out!
Direct. The mistletoe is doing nothing here.
All the beers belong to me
A claim staked early, across the chest.
Super fly Santa
Santa, superfly, enjoying his December.
I’ve been naughty, I’ve been nice twin jumper
Can’t decide what to wear or where to go? Share a jumper with your bestie… now you can go everywhere together.
Happy Slothy Xmas sweatshirt
A sloth, which is the correct animal for the twenty-seventh of December.
Christmas means Christmas Brexit design jumper
Brighten up your Christmas and bring a little more joy and cheer to the season! “Christmas Means Christmas” Theresa May festive jumper.
“Jerry Christmas” design Jeremy Corbyn design sweatshirt
“Jerry Christmas” slogan sweatshirt on Amazon.
Kiss me on the mistletoe design jumper
Mistletoe, with instructions attached.
“I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite” – Elf movie jumper
View Buddy Elf themes Christmas Jumpers on the Etsy website
Don’t Be A Slacker Pull A Cracker Christmas Sweatshirt
Crackers, and a small accusation of laziness.
Winner Winner, Christmas Dinner!
Get ready to tackle that turkey in style with the winner winner Christmas dinner jumper from ASOS. Tis’ the season to indulge after all…
Christmas Elf Blazer
For those who like to be festive and smart this season, the Christmas elf blazer is the perfect addition to your yuletide wardrobe.
Jeremy Corbyn Christmas Jumper
Politics never rests – spend the festive season snug in a Jeremy Corbyn Christmas jumper. The ultimate conversation starter this Christmas.
Winner Winner Christmas Dinner Jumper
Get ready to tackle that turkey in style with the winner winner Christmas dinner jumper from ASOS. Tis’ the season to indulge after all…
Buddy the Elf Christmas Jumper
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear – or wear this Buddy the elf Christmas jumper.
Inflatable Turkey Costume
Get extra festive this year with an inflatable Turkey costume. This battery powered suit inflates in seconds but the fun lasts all Christmas.
Cheeky Santa Jumper
Spread the festive cheer with this cheeky Santa jumper. This year father Christmas is asking “where my hos at?”.